"Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction"

SOOOO...my last post...that was seriously depressing. haha And I will now update you on my life in a lighter tone! I shall *try* to refrain from saying anything negative. ^_^

ALRIGHTY THEN! Where am I in my life of crazyness!? I had that less than good week, which actually ended marvelously with a trip to Brenau University. I was able to meet up with my friend Campbell and tour the whole campus and more. It was really good even though it rained the whole day! haha We persevered and had fun...and now I really feel like I need a pair of really cute rain boots. ;) I will be returning to see them again in November.

This marks the day when I finally figured out which direction I would like to take my major. I really believe that I am supposed to be someone IN theater or film. Whether it be acting or tech design. I just FIT there. I feel so perfectly at home in the hands on projects of set design, and costuming, make-up, prop organizing, etc. I just love it. And while I love to write, I think I would get board pretty quickly. And while I seem like a girl who likes things to be predictable (which I do) I also like *some* change! I like to be kept busy doing things I enjoy. And with film or theater you are always thinking of new creative ideas and coming up with ways to do what other think is impossible! So, I will probably be going for a BA in Theater. I really just have to relax, do my best, and pray. Trusting that God always has a plan for me and will put me where I need to be.


Good News: I'm not quitting piano! *yay* I am laying back on it though. Less pressure to get songs learned, memorized, and performed. Phew! I got some nice romantic/relaxing pieces that are complicated enough to challenge and have the quality to be enjoying and used as get away time. Very happy about that! My key board DOES have three keys out, which means it's a beast to play at the moment, but it will get fixed soon hopefully!

I had my first science test today and I'm feeling confident that I got a decent grade on it!! I HAVE to remember to put what the unit is though. That's going to kill me if I don't remember to put '1.29 x 10 to the third GRAMS' instead of just '1.29 x10 to the third'. >.O I'll get it, I will.
I get to look forward to memorizing the WHOLE of the periodic table this year! yayyy me. My dad is kind of enjoying that fact since he memorized it (Yet I can't get him to say it to me. ;)). Maybe we'll turn it into a game. bahaha

Papers are coming up and I'm guessing what you call Midterms. My goal is just trying to stay relaxed and calm. I'm pacing myself and trying to keep focused. So if my post's are a bit far spaced, well, blame school. ;) I doing my best to 'care' and stay motivated!

Pray for the people of Atlanta. They have been hit very hard by the ton of rain we have gotten over the past few weeks. A lot of flooding has happen. I thank God nothing serious happen further south.

Hmm, what else... I guess that's it! Other than: My world will either keep it's pace where it is, or will do a little jump in a new and interesting direction in a few weeks to a month. :)

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And that which I can do, by the grace of God, I will do."

P.S - I LOVE Jason Mraz still. He's amazing, a *little* quirky, but I like his music a lot. Imogen Heap is another artist I enjoy greatly. She has a new Album: Ellipse that is awesome! Nickel Creek as well of course and lovely country music...I listen to these artist's all the time. So, there's some random Alli music trivia for you! =) Peace.

And this is the point where Alice sits down and crys...

"But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it".

SO, this where I bow my head in humility and admit to you that I am faulty. xP Yes, I have flaws, I'm not perfect and dear gosh I don't think I want to be.

This week up till now has been filled with a lot of frustration, doubt, some hyperventilation, and lots of tears. =( And let me say this, I hate to cry. I get shaky and my face starts to blotch, and my eyes hurt afterwards...I just don't like it. And because of that I don't do it very often, though it does alleviate oneself sometimes. My stress level is on the high scale. ugh.

This is the first really tough 'let's think more about REAL life and reality shall we?' bump in my senior year journey. The realization of everything I have to accomplish between now and spring just crashed down on me on Monday. Rudely. I want SO BADLY to get to that goal, it almost hurts. But I'm not doing to well in the motivation and taking one step at a time area. And so I'm not doing so hot on much needed results.

The 'light at the end of the tunnel' seems really far and almost impossible to reach...

But nothing should be impossible! And I hate giving up because I hate feeling defeated because I KNOW that I have more potential than this. I've been dragging my feet - Imagine I'm standing with a rope tied around my waist with a 100,000 pound weight on the other end. Then imagine me trying to move that weight forward. Or you could say I'm trying to dig this big hole and someone keeps filling it in behind me.

I feel like I'm getting no where. That a dent isn't even being made. This is the idea in my head, however; I'm fully aware that this is not true. CONFUSED MUCH?!

The hard truth of the fact is: I can't do everything. And that's what I've had to realize. The sad thing is I had to realize it all at once in a lovely meltdown of crapola. I have been overwhelmed by everything I have to do and want to do. I had to look at everything and decide what I did not NEED to do. What could be tossed off the caravan of classes into the unnecessary pile.

Speech - I've already taken 2 years of it. I had the joy of experiencing competition at a Regional tournament in my first year and have enjoyed participating in NCFCA. I have the skills learned from it and I will use them in my life forever. I don't need to be pressuring myself to do more of that right now. And participating in a even more competitive club was not helping. So, speech is out. Hopefully I can visit sometime.

Piano - I have played piano for...7 almost 8 years. Maybe more, I've lost track. I love playing. I love music! It's a joy to me. Sure, performing for people is fun if you don't put me on the spot and I know a song well, but I'm never going to make a career out of it (at least that's not my plan). I'm not going to become a famous pianist like some of my friends will, and I don't think I'll teach it. So striving to learn complicated pieces for a festival or a solo recital wasn't needed on my workload. So after talking to my teacher (who I LOVE and have enjoyed taking from for a long while), and crying in front of her because I so didn't want to do this, we decided that I wouldn't quit, but would ease off on the complicated pieces and work on ones that were more relaxing. It will be more of an escape from my heavy studies rather than one itself.

I will joining this youth group I which I visited last week. It seems like a great group, but there are no kids MY age and who I might enjoy being with, learning more about my faith. I'm leading a girls group though! On every other Saturday which is going to be fun and a nice point in my week. I'm grateful to have that.

I do plan on biking still, I just had to take this week off to get a grip on things. My mind will be focused on getting through the several miles rather than Pre-Calc. =P And I need the exercise.

So now things are looking a bit clearer. I can't say I'm exactly happy at the moment, and I haven't regained that excitement I had in the beginning, but I'm *relieved*. I'm ready to...to crack that Pre-Calc book and try to beat some sense out of Chemistry, and put the grind on more SAT studying on top of dual enrollment classes! yaaay. I just have to DO IT. I can...I will...I am...

So in the words of a dear friend of mine "Pick up your skirts LADIES!!!" and let's get to work.

(OH! BTW...I'm really excited for Friday. =D The one highlight!!)

"No, impassible. Nothing's impossible."

"Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings...!"

Calloo, Callay, come run away, with the cabbages and kings!

SO...Dual Enrollment. Fun stuff. This will be my third week taking college classes and I'm still not sure what to make of it. A part of me likes how it is going, and then another part of me wants more.
For instance English. Now I love English. It is one of my passions. I could write about nearly anything, although creative writing is my favorite. So taking this class wasn't that hard for me, I looked forward to it. I have a young professor who is in the process of getting her second degree I believe. She's an okay teacher. I just wish she would put more passion into the class, more, I don't know...OOOMPH! More personality. We go through a lot of power points each class. I want her to share more of her experience with us I guess.
We have one assignment so far, an Autobiography due on the 14th.
We've done two in class 'papers'. I guess you could say they were like quizzes. I did fine. I just always race the clock because I go into so much detail. :P
Thursday we did one of the most fun activities so far. We split up into groups of three and four and assessed an essay. I liked it because I could interact with the other students, even though I sit next to them every Tuesday and Thursday I don't get to talk with them a lot. This I like! I like activity. I want to see us do something! (and since it's a 7:55AM class anything to get us invigorated helps.) I'm ready for the peer review. Even though it's going to be a little hard to be critiqued. I love and hate being critiqued all at the same time. Because since this is an autobiography, it is probably still close to your heart - since it's about you or an event or a person that impacted you.

My Social Science teacher is a riot. He makes me laugh probably because how he say's things are just so quirky. He's rather easy going and even though he said he wouldn't be doing his lectures from the book....all the power points and conversation are directly from the book. So, on that point again I'm a little frustrated. AND he got REALLY mad at a student in class on Thursday. It was a shocker. The kid got his computer out and had a show down. He almost had to leave the class room. But that's a long story and if you want it all you just have to ask me in person. ;) Over all I wish the classes were more unique. BUT I'm loving duel enrollment so I'll live. :o)

This weekend has been FABULOUS! I'm in VA Beach, VA! I surprised one of my girl friends for her birthday AND knocked out two college visits in the meantime. I'm really happy! (what's better than friends and the beach?!) I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know which college I'll choose. I'll be looking at a lot. But I'm having fun and looking forward to college already. haha

Happy day.